Homer Redesigns The Kitchen

Marge, I don't wanna buy this house.

I'd have to live next door to myself.

*Loud music* *Loud music* Turn that down! *Loud Music* Screw you! *Boing* DAHH *Thinking to self* Relax, we're just looky loos, we're only here to compare our life style to our neighbors Oh, come on marge, it's not fair to compare us to an American household *Marge Gasp* It's so beautiful! and modern *A Marge ooooooh* a Sub Zero Fridge! A slightly colder fridge?! In my life time? Amazing! *Beer opening* This is the kitchen I've always wanted! *Marge Gasp plus Marge Oooooh* A bread maker maker! *DOING* *Technology noises* And check this out! A walk in Microwave *Popcorn noises* Hey Marge can you press stop when my Popcorn's done? *Fire effects* Ah oh *Marge Humming* *Breaking sound effect* *BOING* (Thought I'd forget about that one didn't you? *More breaking sound effects* *Marge Gasp* *Ripping noises* *Marge Gasp* (Yes it was necessary to get all those written down in the subtitles) *Marge whining* Homie, when I married you, I knew we wouldn't live in luxury.

And I kept that vow *Table dies* But seeing that kitchen today, made me wish we had something a little better for ourselves I'll build you a new kitchen, sweaty (Yes that was purpose don't correct me in the comments) Aowh, Homie, that's so thoughtful.

But maybe we should hire a professional contractor A CONTRACTOR!? Those guys are the biggest crooks around They charge for materials and labour.

Pick one! Jerks *Homer humming* *Hmp* *Homer murders wall* *Hits electricity thingy* EJAHHEH UEAHEAURWEBHFDEWKH *BANG* MAN, that hurt And now do the exact same thing again! *Hits electricity thing again* UFOIWELKHGFWEGEKWHF *BOING* Maybe, you should turn off the power *Scoff* Alright >.

> *Homer murders yet another wall* Don't demolish along the way >:( Fine >.

< Easy, easy, easy *Broken sound effects* #Exposed Play Dude magazines? Have you been hiding bosom rags from me? Trying to *Exposed laughter* These magazines are from before we were married Maybe you should throw them away BUT, I NEED THEM FOR THE ARTICLES *Marge not proud grunt noise* The articles, aye? Soooooo, you wouldn't mind if I cut out all the erotic nudes? Of course not, why would I wanna look a nude woman i'm not even married to I MEAN, I wouldn't even know how she could improve me *Marge noises* *Snip* I'm not wearing any clothes, so why don't I just display myself on a pool table? *Marge annoyed noises* *Homer cutting through a murdered wall* steady, steady *Kills the wall again* Okay, here's your precious articles! Thanks Marge, I can't wait to read about sports fishing with Sonny Jerkinson *Intense crying* What man would want you now? >:( WOAW, Play Dudes! Let the blossoming of Milhouse begin! I gotta be honest, I don't see what all the hub bub is about Hey!, the lady in this picture is HAWT She can calamine my hives any time That's congress woman Bella Abzug Chow Bella Grown ups in this magazine are pretty cool.

I could make the treehouse look like this.

Then we can have orgies whatever they are We'll be play dude play mates! ♪WE ARE PLAY DUDE PLAY MATES♪ ♪WE ARE PLAY DUDE PLAY MATES♪ There it is! Nice and smooth! I'd like to see your boyfriend the contractor do a better job I think you used too much plaster *Scoff* Now you tell me I never stopped telling you So, that's what that white noise was I'm calling a contractor *Marge using her muscles to smash through the plaster* *DRAMATIC MUSIC* Thanks for taking the job I'm sorry, my husband is being so difficult *Homer attempts to murder the Contractor* GET LOST, CROOK! That's alright Mrs Simpson Many husbands feel emasculated when their wife must turn to a professional to satisfy her remodelling needs.

*Homer thinking of ways to murder the contractor* Why don't you just kiss her >:( I'm gay BUT I have a sub contractor that does that sort of thing for me I like toah kissah *Kisses the air* Now, don't you worry, Your kitchen will be done in three weeks *Two years later* HE LIED When Virginia Wolf wrote every woman needs a room of one zone, she MUST of been talking about the kitchen What's the first thing you're gonna make in your new kitchen? How about cooking up some money, because this stupid kitchen cost a hundred thousand dollars *Homer crying* I was thinking of chicken wings Those are good too ;D THE END.